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  "Shine Online"

It Matters

Robbie S • July 26, 2024

"Why Every Business Should Have a Website:

A Humorous Take"


So, you've got a business, huh? Maybe you're a budding entrepreneur with dreams of conquering the world with your revolutionary product. Or perhaps you're a seasoned pro, navigating the treacherous waters of commerce with the finesse of a seasoned sailor. Whatever your story, one thing's for sure: if you don't have a website, you're missing out on some serious fun. Yes, you heard me right – fun! Because let's face it, running a business without a website is like trying to ride a unicycle while juggling flaming torches – entertaining to watch, but ultimately doomed to end in disaster.


Need more convincing? Well, buckle up, my friend, because I'm about to take you on a wild ride through the wacky world of why every business should have a website.

You're So 90s Without One: Picture this:

it's 2024, and you're still handing out flyers on street corners like it's 1999. Meanwhile, your competitors are busy raking in the dough with their fancy websites, attracting customers from far and wide with just a few clicks of the mouse. Talk about living in the past! Embrace the future, my friend, and join the digital revolution – your customers will thank you (and so will your bank account).


Because Google Said So:

You know you've made it in life when Google gives you the nod of approval. And what better way to earn Google's love than by having your very own website? Think of it as your golden ticket to the front page of the internet – where dreams come true and cat videos reign supreme. So, what are you waiting for? Get on Google's good side and watch your business soar to new heights.


It's Like Having a 24/7 Sales Rep (Minus the Awkward Handshakes):

Let's be real – nobody likes a pushy sales rep. But with a website, you can say goodbye to awkward small talk and hello to round-the-clock sales pitches that actually work. Whether it's 3 AM or high noon, your website is always open for business, ready to dazzle customers with its irresistible charm and killer product photos. Who needs sleep when you've got sales to make, am I right?

Because Cats (Need I Say More?):

Let's face it – the internet runs on cats. From viral memes to adorable videos, our feline friends reign supreme in the online kingdom. And what better way to cash in on this craze than by featuring cats on your website? Trust me, nothing sells a product faster than a cute kitty giving it two paws up. So, do yourself a favor and unleash the power of purr-suasion on your website – your customers will thank you (and so will the cats).


Because Everyone Else Has One (Even Grandma):

If everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you do it too? Well, when it comes to having a website, the answer is a resounding yes. Because let's face it – if Grandma can figure out how to set up a website for her knitting club, you can too. So, stop procrastinating and start building – your business (and Grandma) will thank you for it.

In conclusion, if you're still on the fence about whether your business needs a website, just remember this: life's too short to be stuck in the digital dark ages. Embrace the weird and wonderful world of the web, and watch your business transform into an online sensation. Who knows, maybe you'll even become the next viral cat meme – now wouldn't that be something?




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